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October 10th, 2006


10:54 am
SO
I'm 20 years old.
Haven't lived at home for over two years now.
But, for some reason
...RIGHT NOW...
I really miss my mom.
Worst part of it is, I can't tell her because
she'd either chuckle,
brush it off,
or tell me
to get over it.

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October 15th, 2005


09:55 pm - I got a full body massage today...
It was extremely awkward and put me in a trance for the rest of the day. I get there and find out I get my own little spa to sit in. So, there I am, sitting in a spa naked and alone. I spent my time estimating how many other naked people had been in my position, and if I was putting my hand where someone else's ass was at one time--this troubled me because chances are I was. I also thought about the couples massages--you know they let them in the spa together. People totally have sex in there.

So, this whole time I never even considered the possibility of my masseuse being a man. I mean, only chicks work at spas and shit, right? Wrong. Oh, soooo dead wrong. I got stuck with the creepiest guy in there. I think I actually jumped when I saw him. He was long-haired and barefoot, and drinking out of a huge cup from Carl's Jr. Afterwards he told me to drink lots of water as I might be dizzy or nauseous later. "Who gets nauseous after massages," I asked myself. Yeah, totally thought he was crazy. But apparently, I get nauseous after massages. My head is foggy and I feel like crawling into bed and dying. But, I highly recommend getting rubbed like that for 90 minutes. However, the sucky part is: you can't choose who rubs you. I think the masseuse gets the shittier end of the deal, though. They don't get to choose who they rub--think about it, rubbing oils onto the hairy back of an obese man. The man getting the massage definitely wins.
Current Mood: [mood icon] cold
Current Music: mommy talking

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February 22nd, 2004


12:36 pm



You're Sudan!

Every time you get a headache, you reach for some aspirin, only to
realize that someone destroyed it.  That's just how things are going for you right
now... it's hard to eat, hard to sleep, hard to not have a headache.  You try to
relax, but people always jump on you about something that doesn't make sense.  If
you were a goat, you'd be a Nubian.

Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid


Current Mood: [mood icon] aggravated

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February 21st, 2004


10:00 pm




You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash,
honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt
your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with
kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.


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January 15th, 2004


08:28 pm - what a beautiful feeling.

I'm not really drunk, but I HAD to see what the little happy face would look like if he had gone out and danced like it was 1999 with one too many drinks in his system. Yes, I am a sick, sick girl. I want to see what an inebriated happy face looks like. 

At this moment, I am quite happy. Ben is leaving tomorrow, but I am trying to hide my sadness and focus on the fact that I am so very lucky to have spent all this time with him; I am so lucky to even be with him. I know this is dorky, but I am glad that he knows what he wants out of life. People like that earn a lot of respect from me. I am almost deliriously happy with us. It's a reciprocating relationship with a wonderful element of friendship. I feel totally comfortable around him, we can talk about anything, and whenever we hold hands I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I never felt that way with John. I think John and I had more of a superficial relationship. I liked him, but our relationship was severely immature and one-sided. But enough about that. All I really have to say about him is that I wish we were friends. I miss his friendship. Maybe one day, when he's a man, he'll realize that being friends with your ex is okay.

Hali wrote me a long email the other day; it made me feel bad for being mean. But, it made me happy to know that she feels the same way that I do about our relationship and how it needs some work. This weekend we are going to dedicate a day to talking and saying what we need to say to each other. I really miss her, and I am glad she misses me, too.

I started French lessons this week. It was super exciting!!! I hope there is a future {for French and I). Perhaps it will marry me and we can have lots of French-speaking babies.  One of my main goals is to become fluent. I am a huge nerd.

Come to me, college!!!


Current Mood: [mood icon] drunk
Current Music: A Letter to Elise - The Cure

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December 11th, 2003


07:38 pm - I'm sick...
So I've missed the last two days of school to take care of my sister who has been sick with the flu. My parents are in Texas. And now, much to my dismay, my sister is fine and I am sick. I have a fever and a sore throat. Bleeeh.

I just hope it doesn't get much worse...I think I'll go to school tomorrow because I have to. I hate being sick.

Buuuuuuuut...Ben's coming home tomorrow! I can't wait to see him. I like him so much it's really not even funny. *sigh*

Cross your fingers and maybe I'll be better tomorrow!!!

<3 Stephanie

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December 6th, 2003


06:54 pm - "Mom, I don't want to eat meat anymore." "Okay, that's fine. But, eat your hamburger."
So today did nothing good for me.

My grandpa left. He'd been staying with us because he was sick, and we were all hoping he'd stay with us for good. He lives in Mexico under the worst possible conditions and suffered two strokes which we didn't find out about until last week. My dad is the only who helps him because the rest of my aunts and uncles are ridiculously uncaring children. The doctor told him he can't live on his own, but he's determined to do so. So today after telling my dad he was never there for him, he got on the bus and left. I feel sorry for my dad. My grandpa is so confused that he doesn't even remember which son has been there for him all this time.

He gave me and my sister $100 each, so I went to Santa Maria with my mom and some lady and her kids who I didn't know. They left me in the mall, which I can't blame them because they don't know me, so I was there walking around for about three hours by myself.I went there to buy pants so I went on my quest feeling okay at first.

Basically everytime I tried on a pair of pants I felt disgusting. I know I am not fat, but I think that there is something wrong with me. Right after I was done I went into the bookstore and read magazine articles on how to lose weight.

I am going on a diet for sure now and making time to exercise. I think there is something wrong with me, seriously. Something mentally and emotionally wrong.

I got home afterwards and just turned off all of the lights in my room and lied on the ground in a fetal position crying.

I won't be going to Sara's party tonight because I don't want to see anyone. I feel really shitty right now, and the only way I can fix it is to do something about my body because I've never hated it until now.

Did I mention that I feel like shit?
Current Mood: shitty
Current Music: Trouble- Coldplay

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01:29 pm

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December 2nd, 2003


09:20 pm - let's go back to the start
So today was long. I took pictures with hali for about 4 hours. I like taking pictures, you capture pieces of the soul that way. That picture represents a certain moment...one moment in particular that's just frozen in time because you wanted it to be.

I like coldplay and I like dreaming. Sleeping is by far the best thing on earth because all the best things happen when I'm sleeping.

I wonder what being dead feels like...is it like sleeping?
Current Mood: [mood icon] calm
Current Music: The Scientist- Coldplay

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November 29th, 2003


03:27 pm - bleeeeeh
Boys are stupid; I really DON'T understand them at all, and it pisses me off.

I got to ring the Salvation Army Bell today...it was funny. Some lady paid us, well, paid the Salvation Army box $5 to get us to stop ringing the bell so obnoxiously. That made me laugh.

A lot of the time I wonder if I am the reason why things suck. I really am a difficult person, and I accept that. But goddamnit, I know that a lot of the time I get short-changed.

Bleeeeeh, life is stupid.It's not fair that we only get one shot. We should get a trial run; then, our second life would be the final one...the deciding factor on whether you really are a screw-up or not. I wish that this could be my trial life so then I could make sure my next one wouldn't suck as much.

It's not all bad, sure. But, a lot of the time it's just bullshit. I really am tired of it. I wish there were less stupid people.

Stupid people example # 1:
Paris Hilton.

Incident:
A celebrity, obviously, who decides she wants to make a sex tape with her boyfriend. They break up. She never asks for tape. Ex-boyfriend sells it. Tape all over Internet.

Lesson:
Don't make sex tapes that you don't want seen, ever, when you're a celebrity goddamnit.By leaving it with your ex-boyfriend, you're just asking for shit. Get the damn tape back and dispose of it yourself!

People like that make me feel better about myself. Sure, I'm not rich...but I sure as hell am not stupid enough to leave anything I don't want seen with my ex-boyfriend.

So this has been a rant, but it's cool. I am just so irritated with my life and lots of things that are in it.
Current Mood: [mood icon] aggravated
Current Music: How to Disappear Completely- Radiohead

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November 23rd, 2003


06:23 pm - that underwear doesn't do much to cover the beaver, does it?
Really I've done nothing productive all day. I talked to Ben for a long time and moped about my Stats grade even though it isn't bad at all.

I've found myself delaying the submission of my UC application though. I have to go back and check my personal statements again.

I went to dinner with my family at the Thai Palace and my mom bought me underwear at Victoria's Secret afterwards.

I'm tubby.
Current Mood: [mood icon] blah
Current Music: The Sweetest Thing - U2

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November 22nd, 2003


11:47 pm - moisture is the essence of wetness
So I had lots of fun tonight. Until this weekend, I've kinda forgotten what it's like to hang out with girls, and I like it.

Today, Hali and I went to SLO and we ate Mondeo's, mmmmm. Then we walked around and went into stores, but had no money. That rules. I may have stolen something because I didn't want to pay $12 for it.

Later tonight we met up with Katy, and then Sara, at Starbucks. That was fun. Katy called her good-looking Templeton friends and we just sat there debating about whether or not the sign by the coffee was really chalk or not. It was.

Then we all went to the Wherehouse which is closing soon. And, bought nothing. After that we walked across the parking lot in the freezing cold to get kettle corn at Long's. I got to smell Amanda's hair.

After that, we went to my house and watched Zoolander. Well, talked for a loong time first. They made me change my belly button barbell....ewwwwww. I gave into peer pressure.

Ben called me too <3. I like him lots.

So we watched Zoolander, and that was cool. I took Hali home too. Now I have to work on getting my UC application in tonight. Yay!

<3

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01:16 pm - tee hee
Well, I finally got a livejournal account thanks to
KATY <3.I will probably be posting in here all the time now just because I can, and that'll be cool.

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I'll surprise you sometime

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